


Childhood Reminiscence

by Licorna



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Based on a Tumblr Post, Because of course he does, Childhood Memories, Coming Out, F/M, First Kiss, Flashbacks, Gay Panic, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Stanley Uris Lives, and he is very worried about it, angst towards the end, but not romantically, i needed this okay, just so you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26875408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Licorna/pseuds/Licorna
Summary: On the flight to Derry, Stan is overwhelmed by all those memories that are coming back to him. To lighten the mood, Patty asks him to share his thoughts, and so he ends up telling her about the time he and his best friend Richie came out to each other.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 11
Kudos: 36





	Childhood Reminiscence

**Author's Note:**

> So I was on tumblr the other day and I scrolled through trashcanprince's feed (they are an AMAZING artist and I love their art so very much; go check it out!) when I stumbled across a textpost with a headcanon:
> 
> I like the idea that Stan always knew about Richie’s crush on Eddie and that’s why he specifically says to “be proud” in his letter. He is a pretty observant kid and my personal headcanon is that Richie trusted Stan enough to confide in him.  
> Stan himself I think of bi/pan and I think it’d be nice if they tested the waters together. I don’t necessarily picture them as more than good friends but I’m down for various interpretations!  
> I like the idea of adult Stan softly picking on Rich for being so in love and Rich just looks at him and Patty being all gooey and is like “…dude”
> 
> So, naturally, my brain went "Hey, what if we wrote this instead of one of the about twenty other things we have going on?"  
> And that's exactly what I did. Here you go.  
> I didn't cover the last sentence of the headcanon with this oneshot because it just felt like a natural ending like this. But hey, who knows, maybe I'll write a follow-up someday.
> 
> Okay, so lemme know what you think in the comments and if you spot any typos, grammar mistakes, anything, really - please tell me so I can fix it.
> 
> That being said: I hope you enjoy reading!

As far as Stan could remember, the Slightly Awkward But Not Too Uncomfortable Incident™ had happened on a warm Friday evening just a few weeks into the new school year the summer after they had defeated IT. After they’d had that huge fallout. After they had gotten their act together again because _they had fought a goddamn killer clown together!_

It had been a warm Friday evening and him, Eddie and Richie had been doing homework. More specifically: a group project for their history class. Stan recalled that it had been draining and annoying – not because of the work itself, he’d actually never had a problem with history or homework in general. But having to do a group project with Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier was pure torture. That boy had really lived up to his reputation – talking bullshit, drawing dicks on his notes, humming some trashy pop songs; essentially doing _anything_ but concentrating on their work.

And that hadn’t even been the worst thing about it. Sure, Richie was a lot to handle on his own, but him together with Eddie…

“What are you thinking about, huh?”

Stan flinched and suddenly became aware of his surroundings again. The glass of the airplane window was cold against his temple and his left leg had went to sleep. Great.

He looked at the hand that had appeared on his forearm and then at Patty next to him who was smiling softly. He had been completely lost in his thoughts, he realised. How long had they been on this airplane?

He placed his own hand on hers and shrugged. “I don’t believe I _was_ thinking. Things are just coming back, memories that I’ve lost… it’s a little overwhelming.” He tried to smile at her but only managed to pull his lips in a half-hearted abomination of one.

Patty stroked his cheek and pressed a short but loving kiss on his lips.

“Of course it is. That’s your whole childhood coming back all at once. I cannot imagine how lost and confused you must feel.”

The thumb of her other hand smoothed over the soft fabric of his pullover. It wasn’t thick and he knew she was feeling the stitched up, still healing scar there. He asked himself once again how she was still with him, willing to join him on this crazy, frightening journey, after what he’d done to her.

“You wanna tell me about those memories? Maybe it helps to get them out?”

“I… sure. I’d like that.” He frowned. “It’s just… there are so many, it’s hard to focus on one…”

“Which was the last one? The one I startled you out of?”

Stan’s eyes left her face and zoned out, let his surroundings get blurry for a second, as he tried to remember and get a hold of that one again.

The history project, right. That eventful evening. The image was crystal-clear now in his mind.

“Sure you wanna hear about my annoying best friend from Derry and how we came out to each other in the late eighties?”

He even managed an amused smile this time.

Patty smiled right back at him.

“Every bit of it.”

Eddie had just left because it was almost six and he still had to bike home and after what had happened last summer, Sonia Kaspbrak had become even stricter when it came to him going out and meeting friends. None of them wanted to be on the receiving end of her everlasting wrath that would be unleashed if those rules were broken, so Stan had told him to leave and Richie had told him to give his mum a passionate kiss from him and after punching Richie in the arm and shoving his head away when he’d leaned in making kissy noises, Eddie had rushed down the stairs and out of the Toziers’ front door.

Now here they were, Stan being left by the only other productive member of their tiny group and instead having to figure out how to bring his idiot best friend to at least contribute _something_. Which would definitely be a whole new obstacle since they had spent the last few hours with Eddie who Richie undeniably had the hugest crush on. Stan was sure of it, he’d started to see the signs months before the last summer holiday and after the shit they’d went through together, those signs had only gotten more obvious, at least to him. None of the other losers seemed to notice, least of all Eddie himself who was completely oblivious to his friend’s flirting. Stan could see right through Richie’s façade of those god-forsaken mom-jokes, the shoving or pinching which were evidently only excuses to touch Eddie, the lingering looks when he thought no one was watching. It was horrible, even more so when they sat together in a smaller group like today. The afternoon had been exhausting and all Stan wanted right now was to finish this damn project.

“Rich, why don’t you read the last text and highlight the important stuff while I answer the last few study questions?”

To his surprise, Richie complied without complaining – he just grinned, grabbed his marker and held it up like he was wielding a sword into battle, said “Sure thing, Stanjamin” and immediately hunched over his sheets.

Stanley was taken aback for a second, bewildered by the surprising enthusiasm. Apparently, teasing Eddie lifted his friend’s spirits to the point of being motivated enough to actually do his tasks.

It took them about thirty minutes to put the missing information together and get their worksheets in order. Richie got a paper clip to pin them together and finally, they were all done.

Stan sighed and leaned his back against Richie’s bed while his friend let himself fall onto his side, rolled onto his stomach and buried his face in the fluffy, dark blue rug they were sitting on.

“You know, if Eddie was here, he would tell you that there are probably millions of germs and bacteria in that rug and that you’re gonna die if you breathe them in?”

“’course he would.”

He turned his head towards Stan and pitched his voice to imitate Eddie’s.

“Richie, you are disgusting! Do you know which _diseases_ you could get?”

Stan laughed at that admittedly spot-on impression.

“But honestly, when was the last time this rug was vacuumed?”

“Pff, if I knew.”

“That _is_ disgusting.”

Richie grinned at him and Stan couldn’t help but smile back.

They sat together in silence for the next couple of minutes, Richie had closed his eyes and Stan looked around the room, spotting a new action figure on a shelf and a few new pictures on the wall over the desk. It took him a second to recognize the photos: They were the ones the Losers had taken together at the photo booth. They had paid for seven photo strips – one for each of them. Stan had his own in the drawer of his nightstand and took it out almost every evening to look at it before he went to sleep.

Another photo strip caught his attention: It was just photos of Eddie and Richie. Having their arms slung around each other’s shoulders. Richie ruffling Eddie’s hair. Eddie shoving him with his elbow. Them grinning at each other.

It hit Stan once again how in love Richie was. Those pictures said more than words ever could have; the way he looked at Eddie…

“I like those photos.”

He pointed in the direction of the desk.

“The new ones.”

Richie opened his eyes and looked over.

“C’mon, Stannyboy, you got the same at home, dontcha?”

“I’m not talking about those with the Losers, I mean the ones of you and Eddie.”

For a few seconds, Richie said nothing. Then he sat up, cross-legged, and faced him, the most serious look on his face than Stan had seen in a while.

“How do you mean that?”

Stan hesitated for a moment, considering addressing the matter straight away and just saying what he was thinking. He decided on a more subtle approach to test the waters first and see if Richie would be comfortable with this kind of conversation.

“I think they’re nice. You look very happy.”

Riche seemed like he didn’t know how to respond to that and just looked down to the floor. That was unexpected. Stan had expected him to crack a poor joke or something. Him being silent meant that something was going on within him and that it was important to him.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“What if I do?” Rich didn’t look up when he started talking in a soft voice. “What if I like him like I’m supposed to like girls?”

Despite him facing the rug, Stan could see he was biting his lip. He leaned forward and reached for his friend’s hands that were fidgeting in his lap, knuckles turning white. It hurt him when Rich flinched at the touch and Stan was hit with the realization how frightened his friend had to be. It made sense – Bowers and his nasty friends had started the rumour that Richie was gay, and he had been confronted with suspicious and disgusted looks, mean jokes and straight up bullying ever since. Everyone knew what happened to queers in Derry and if people were to find out that the rumours around Rich were actually true… well, Stan didn’t want to think about it.

“If you liked him like other boys like girls, I would tell you that that was totally fine and nothing to be worried about.”

That was when his friend finally looked up, surprised, and Stan could see that his eyes were red and puffy.

“Really?”

He nodded.

“I suspected that you saw more than a friend in him. You’re not very subtle, you know?”

At Richie’s shocked expression, he added: “I don’t think anyone else smells a rat, to be honest. Though I really don’t know how they can call themselves your friends and _not_ notice the moon eyes you’re making at him all the time.”

Stan smirked at him and hoped it would lighten the mood a little. Richie’s lips twitched into a small smile and he rubbed at his eyes under the thick lenses of his glasses.

“Am I that obvious?”

“To me, you’re pretty obvious. Eddie must be either blind or really dumb to not get what’s going on.”

In response, Richie just punched him on the shoulder but visibly couldn’t help to smile a bit wider.

“You… you really don’t care that I’m a fairy? You don’t think I’m disgusting?”

“I _do_ think you’re disgusting. For various reasons. But the fact that you like boys is not one of them.”

Richie snorted.

“How could you find me disgusting, I am the most handsome man in Derry!”

He posed, pursing his lips and framing his face with his hands while wiggling with his eyebrows, and Stan chuckled. It was good to see his best friend joking again, as annoying as it could be. A serious Richie was a sad or scared Richie, and Stan didn’t like that one bit, though he could imagine how frightening his friend’s situation was. No, he _knew exactly_ how he felt.

Stan took a deep breath. _Now or never_ , he thought. A moment like this would probably never come again and after Richie had trusted him with his secret, he felt like now was finally the time to confide in him as well. He’d wanted to come clear about this for a very long time but had never brought himself to actually do it.

“Rich, do you remember my Bar Mizwa?”

“Random question, but yeah, I do.”

“And the speech I gave?”  
  
“’Course! How could I forget that? That was _epic_ , dude.”

Richie grinned at him and a smile tugged at Stan’s lips.

“You know, I wasn’t just talking about not fitting in at school or about being Jewish in a Christian city. I… I’m the same as you.”

“You’re… but didn’t you have that crush on Sally Miller last spring?”

“I did. See, I do like girls. Just… not only girls.”

“That’s a thing?”

“I guess?”

“Wait – so that one winter before Sally when you dumped my ass for playing with Bob Thompson-“

“Boris.”

“Yeah, that’s what I said. So you just left me standing alone and freezing in the park for like a million times because you were after that guy, right?”

“That’s not how it went, I always told you beforehand.”

“I knew you wouldn’t miss out on quality time with me without a reason!”

“I already regret telling you this.”

“Stan, this is wonderful. Pure gold. So much potential for inside jokes!”

“Potential for making obvious comments that would make other people catch on, you mean? Please, Rich. Don’t.”

He could hear the worry in his own voice.

His friend stopped and looked at him with a calculating glance.

“Someone already found out, right?”

Richie maybe was a complete idiot, but he certainly wasn’t dumb. Stan should have known that he’d make the connection. He nodded.

“Was it your old man?”

“Dad doesn’t exactly _know_ , but he found pictures I painted of Boris and he jumped to a logical conclusion.”

“Shit, man. That’s why he’s so strict with you and your Bar Mizwa?”

Stan nodded again. “Mmm. He thinks that if he is just harsh enough and makes me a good Jewish man that I’ll be normal.”

“That’s just bullshit. But I guess my dad wouldn’t be any better if he knew. He’s pretty chill, generally, but he hates gays.”

They both sighed in unison.

“Dads, huh?”, Richie said.

“Dads”, Stan agreed.

“So, we won’t talk about this with the others?”

“I’d prefer not to. I don’t think they’d mind, but you can never be sure. Why make it a topic when it’s not relevant?”

Rich hummed in agreement.

“Unless you wanna confess your undying love to Eddie”, he added, grinning.

“You bastard!”

And with that, Rich tackled him and a few moments later, they were entangled in a wrestling match, laughing and smiling and Stan was so very happy to know that he had such a good friend in this weird, annoying, wonderful boy.

Patty’s fingers were intertwined with his on their shared armrest between their seats, her thumb was stroking the back of his hand and she smiled.

“ _Did_ Richie ever confess his feelings?”

“Not that I know of.”

“And he didn’t come out to your other friends?”

“I don’t think so. It wasn’t easy for non-straight people in the 80s in that damn town. Derry is brutally conservative regarding lots of things. Him and I, we were the only ones I knew of at the time. And he was so afraid of being judged…”

“Do you think he’s come to terms with his sexuality? I mean, it’s been almost 30 years.”

Stan sighed and shook his head.

“I looked them all up, him and the others. Richie is a stand-up comedian now and basically all he jokes about is the relationship to his girlfriend.”

When Patty looked up, there was some kind of sad sympathy in her eyes.

“That’s sad. That’s really sad. Hiding such a major part of who you are for so long, feeling like you can’t talk about it… Sounds like he needs reassurance from his friends.”

“What are you implying?”

“We have a mission, Stan.” She smiled smugly and he chuckled.

“Are you planning on making my childhood best friend comfortable enough to come out in front of our friendship group 27 years after we’ve seen each other? While we’re actually in Derry to fight a demonic force that’s been killing children since before the city was built?”

“Maybe I am.”

“You’re unbelievable.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. “And I love you for it.”

Patty smiled and squeezed his hand.

“And I love you.”

She leaned her head against his shoulder and Stan rested his cheek on the top of her head, closing his eyes. The smell of her kosher strawberry perfume filled his nose and, for just a second, it felt like the two of them were sitting in their living room again, maybe after having watched a movie together, and snuggling until one of them was going to get sleepy like they’d done so many times in the past years.

“It must have been hard, growing up queer in such a conservative city. So many things you miss out on, probably having to wait until you move away from there to be able to make your first romantic experiences. I mean, sure, it was still the 80s, and things weren’t easy for queer folk, but in bigger cities, it would have been at least a bit easier for you and your friend.”

“I guess. Maybe it would have been. But Derry was all we had, and it was okay. Neither of us could imagine that things possibly could have been different somewhere else. That city was everything we knew, and the world is small to you when you’re eleven.”

Another thought crossed his mind, the memory of what had happened after his confession to Richie. But, God, was that really something he could tell his wife about? Would that make things weird? On the other hand…

He opened his eyes and looked down at Patty. Patient, forgiving, understanding, loving, wonderful Patty. His amazing wife, who, somehow, still loved him with her whole heart after all they had been through together and after everything _he_ had put her through in the last two days. Things couldn’t even get weirder than now, he figured, and honestly, Patty would probably even enjoy this story. He was worrying too much.

“Also, we _did_ make experiences in Derry. With the same gender, I mean.”

That made her look up at him, move back and raise her eyebrows in amusement.

“You did? Now I’m curious. And I have a faint idea what you’ll might tell me.”

“I could not tell you anything and leave it up to your imagination.”

“But you wouldn’t do that, because you love telling me your stories just as much as I enjoy listening to them.”

Stan chuckled and kissed her.

“I do. Although this one is a bit awkward, I have to admit.”

“Which makes it just funnier for me to listen.”

When Patty grinned, he rolled his eyes but complied and started talking again.

“So, after Rich and I came out to each other, I stayed at his place. It was a Friday and my parents had allowed me to stay overnight. Well, my mother had convinced my father that I should be allowed to and that he couldn’t be mad at me forever for what I had said at my Bar Mizwa.”

“She really said that to his face? Man, your mom is awesome. Now I know who you got your balls from.”

Stan and Richie sat on the mattress they had put on the floor next to the bed, both wearing their pyjamas. It was almost half past eleven and they should have turned in for the night about an hour ago, but it was Friday and none of them had any appointments the next day so it was okay to stay up a little longer and since Richie’s parents weren’t as strict as Stan’s, they surely would let them sleep in a bit the next morning.

Stan shrugged. “She is concerned I’ll lose my friends, I guess. She knows father and I don’t get along well and that I’ll be lonely if I don’t get out every now and then.”

“Pff, jokes on her. You couldn’t lose us if you wanted, you’re stuck with us”, Richie said, grinning, and punched his shoulder. Stan smiled and looked down to his hands that were folded in his lap, and he thought that he was really lucky that he had such great friends who wouldn’t let him down, even if he didn’t get to see them as often now as he used to.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, Stan playing with a loose thread on his pyjama’s top, Richie picking his nails. Sometimes there were moments like this, where Stan didn’t talk, and he didn’t need to. Usually Richie would fill the silence, but now, he seemed caught up in his thoughts. Something was bothering him; Stan could feel it. In situations like this, he knew, it was better not to ask, but rather wait for him to break the silence himself.

It took him only a few more moments to clear his throat and speak up.

“What do you think it feels like?”

“What do you mean?”

Richie looked up but avoided to meet his eyes, his hands fidgeting nervously.

“Kissing a boy. Did you… did you ever do that?”

Oh. So that was where he was getting at.

“No, I didn’t.”

“And a girl? Did you ever kiss a girl?”

Stan shook his head. “No. Unless you count that one time Mildred Schneider gave me a kiss on the lips to win a bet with her dumb friends.”

“That definitely doesn’t count. I doubt that really was a kiss, that looked more like clout.”

“It felt like one, too.” He wrinkled his nose at that unpleasant memory.

“Would you…”, Richie started, then he hesitated, scratched his head and cleared his throat again. “Oh god, this is gonna be weird”, he then muttered before he looked at him, apparently slightly concerned. “Would you like to… to try it? Kissing, I mean?”

In that second, Stan’s mind failed to catch up with what Rich was asking. He didn’t mean… did he? He couldn’t, that would be weird, as he’d said. But his words left no room for interpretation. Stan was confused.

“Are you… suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

His friend visibly swallowed and looked down again. “No, of course not! That would be dumb. Forget I ever said it.”

“No, that’s not dumb, just…” He didn’t even know what it was. Overwhelming, probably. Unexpected. Maybe a bit intimidating, even, the thought that the two of them could do this right here, right now. What if Richie’s parents came in? What if their friendship would be weird after they did it? Would it change things if they kissed? On the other hand, though, it was just a product of curiosity. Both of them had never kissed anyone and who knew how long it would take for them to find another opportunity? At least in Richie’s case it would be difficult and probably take even years until he would find someone he’d like to kiss and who was willing to kiss him back.

Stan contemplated the idea for another few seconds while his friend watched him anxiously, until he decided to give it a shot. But there were two things he had to make sure first.

“Okay, just so this is clear: This is an experiment. No feelings involved. I am not in love with you.”

“And I’m not with you.”

“I know. I’m just making sure we’re on the same page here. And I have one condition: We never talk about this with the others.”

“Why would we do that? They don’t even know we’re… we’re different, why would we tell them we kissed? That literally makes no sense. No one needs to know, this is just to find out what it’s like, nothing more, and-“

“Rich! Calm down.”

Richie froze in his frantic movements and looked at him for a second before putting his hands on his thighs.

“Sorry. I’m nervous.”

“I’m a bit nervous, too. But we’re just testing the waters and that’s all it is, right?”

“Right.”

“Good.”

There was silence again, and this time, it wasn’t as comfortable; it was tense and awkward, and Stan wanted it to end.

“So, should we-“, he said, at the same time Richie opened his mouth and asked “How do we-?“

They both stopped and looked at each other, then Richie started again: “How do we do this? I don’t know how this is supposed to work.”

“Me neither.”

“In those movies my mom likes to watch, they just lean towards each other and… kind of… just go for it, I think?”

“Then… I guess we just…”

Stan took a deep breath and leaned in, watching Richie as he did the same. For a second, they were kind of hovering in front of one another and then, somehow, Stan’s lips were on Richie’s. He closed his eyes and concentrated on how it felt. It was a bit weird, a completely new sensation, of course, but not necessarily in a bad way. Richie’s lips pressed firmly onto his, and it was warm and kind of nice, but it didn’t feel quite right. Something was off, maybe something was missing, and Stan supposed it would be different if he was in love with Rich.

Their kiss lasted about ten seconds, maybe, and then Richie moved back. Stan opened his eyes and looked at him. Rich returned that look and opened his mouth to say something, closed it again, seemed to think about his words, and finally said “That was… okay?”

He responded with a nod and a shrug.

“Do you think it would be better with… with someone you like?”

“I guess. I mean, there must be a reason people in love do that all the time.”

“Mhm…”

Richie’s eyes fixated a point somewhere behind Stan’s back.

“Maybe it would be better with Eddie. Do you think he would like kissing? With all the germs you can get from that?”

“Generally, I don’t think he’d like it. But maybe with a person he likes? I really don’t know.”

“I wonder what it would feel like if it was him.”

A thought crossed Stan’s mind, an idea that he wasn’t sure himself if it was crazy or not.

“What if we do it again?”

“What?” That made Rich look at him again.

“What if we kiss again, but this time, you imagine that I’m Eddie? Maybe it’s a dumb idea but we might as well give it a shot.”

Richie’s eyes narrowed at that, he watched him suspiciously, as if he weren’t sure if Stan was kidding. He tapped a finger on his chin, obviously thinking.

“You think that might work?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. As I said, I don’t know.”

“And you would be okay with it?”

“Sure.”

They looked at each other for another few seconds, then Richie nodded.

“Okay. I’ll try.”

He closed his eyes.

“It’s Eddie”, he mumbled to himself, “Eddie’s sitting in front of you, and he is looking as cute as always and you’re about to kiss him.”

And then, Richie leaned in again and Stan did the same.

This kiss was different for Rich; Stan just knew it. Somehow it felt different, when their lips met, and he placed one of his hands on Stan’s forearm where his thumb stroked softly over the fabric of his top. That touch was so tender and loving and later he would realise that he just scratched the surface of how deep the emotions his best friends kept locked away inside him really were, but in that moment, he just thought that it was odd.

After they parted again, Richie left his eyes closed for just a little while longer. When he opened them, it looked like he struggled to hold back tears.

“We should sleep, it’s late”, he said, and his voice sounded strangled.

Shit. Stan hadn’t thought it would mess him up like this; he’d just wanted something nice for his friend. Now he regretted his idea.

“Rich, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to-“

“It’s fine, I’m just tired.” Richie stood up and climbed onto his own bed, when Stan grabbed his wrist. He stood up from the mattress and pulled him into a hug.

“I’m sorry. It was a dumb idea. I shouldn’t have suggested it.”

He felt the fabric on his shoulder getting wet and Richie’s torso trembled underneath his hands and it hurt so much to know that he was responsible for his best friend to be this sad.

“I’m sorry”, he repeated and when Richie buried his face in his shoulder and a quiet sob escaped him, he closed his eyes and brushed a hand over his back.

They stood there for a couple of minutes and Richie cried softly while Stan tried to comfort him and when the tears had dried, Rich sniffled, moved back and rubbed his eyes.

“Thanks.”

He sat down on his bed and looked at him.

“No one’s going to know about this.”

“No one”, Stan agreed and nodded. Then he settled down again, the two boys made themselves comfortable under their blankets and Richie turned off the lamp on his bedside table.

As they were lying there in the dark, Stan spoke up again.

“You know that you can talk to me if you ever need to, right? About… about Eddie. And everything else.”

“I know.”

There were many more things that Stan wanted to say, but he knew that he didn’t have to. Rich understood him just perfectly. And he knew that those two words from his friend meant much more than just that. They’d never talked very much about their feelings, that was just how little boys were, but they always knew what the other one wanted to say. They were best friends after all.

“Good night, Richie.”

“Good night, Stan.”

“That is really sweet”, Patty told him with a smile on her face. “I’m really curious to meet him now, you know?”

“I figured as much”, Stan replied and pressed a kiss to her hairline.

“I can’t wait to meet him again. The more I think about my childhood and the more memories come back to me, the more I want to meet those guys and especially Richie again. I don’t know how I was ever able to forget them.”

“We’re almost there. The plane is going to land in not even two hours and then we’ll only have to drive a few miles. Just a bit more patience, darling.”

“I know.” He smiled at her and pushed a strand of her hair back behind her ear.

Sure, he knew it wouldn’t be too long until he’d see his friends again, and he was very, very happy about it. At the same time though, he felt like with every minute, he was rushing towards the impending doom that was Derry and the horror that lurked in its sewers. It was a feeling of naked fear and of death and although he knew he wouldn’t face IT alone, he was sure he’d feel just as lonely as he had as a boy.

He swallowed against a lump that was building in his throat. Patty’s fingers brushed over his knuckles and Stan closed his eyes, trying to not get a panic attack. He couldn’t possibly know what the next days would bring, but he had the strong feeling that, if he would ever leave his hometown again, he would leave it scarred, even more so than he had when he’d moved with his parents. That felt like it was an eternity ago now.

With a sigh, he opened his eyes again and looked outside into the night. And as he was staring at the clouds, flying over the lights of cities and towns, there was a faint voice in the back of his mind, hoarse and shrill.

_“You’ll float too, you’ll float too…”_

Yes, Stan was afraid. He was even more afraid than the evening he’d took the bath. His fear had only grown since the moment he’d woken up again at the hospital. But here he was now, on a plane towards everything he’d ever wanted to forget when he’d been a child, and there was no way out. He was frightened, felt like if his heart would continue to beat this fast, it would eventually explode. The only difference, though, there was between now and the evening Mike had called him, was that Patty knew what was going on and she was with him. And even if it was a small difference, objectively, he felt like it could change everything.


End file.
